86.2% Human; 13.8% None Of Your Business

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
defectivegembrain
homunculus-argument

I actually really like the thing when you're starting to get the hang of a new language, enough to understand and say simple sentences but you gotta get creative to get more complex thoughts across, like a puzzle. I remember a time in the restortation school when a classmate who wasn't natively finnish but did her best anyway dropped something and sighed, telling me "every day is monday this week. I have had four mondays this week." And I understood.

I don't think I speak much of spanish anymore, but in the nursing school training period I did there, I did manage to get by with making weird Tarzan sentences. I got a nosebleed at some point and startled another nurse. Not knowing the words for "nosebleed", "humidity", or "stress", I managed to string together: "This is ok. It is hot, it is cold, I have a bad day, I am sad, I have blood. This is normal for me." And she understood.

And sometimes you just say things weird, but it's better than not saying it. One time, I was stuck in a narrow hallway behind someone walking really slowly with a walker, and he apologised for being in the way. I was not in any hurry, but didn't know the spanish word for "hurry", but I did know enough words to try to circumvent it by borrowing the english "I have all the time in the world."

The man burst into one of those cackling old man laughters that they do when something in this world still manages to surprise them. He had to be somewhere between 70 and a 100 years old, and I guess if there was one thing he wasn't expecting to hear today, it would be a random blond vaguely baltic-looking fuck casually announce that he is the sole keeper and master of the very concept of time.

charlesoberonn
viva-1a-resistance

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED

YOU KNOW THE HAIKU BOT???

OFC YOU DO

YOU KNOW THAT MESSAGE HE PUTS AT THE END OF EVERY POST????

"Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up."

YEAH???????

WELL THATS A HAIKU TOO

Beep boop! I look for

accidental haiku posts.

Sometimes I mess up.

NOW YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THATS NOT THE CUTEST THNIG YOUVE EVER HEARD

the-haiku-bot

“Beep boop! I look for

accidental haiku posts.

Sometimes I mess up.”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

lastvalyrian

image
frost-sodalis

It’s full circle now. He did it, by god he did. What a little champ.

the-haiku-bot

It’s full circle now.

He did it, by god he did.

What a little champ.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

alledherlu-q-pereon

image
cthulhu-with-a-fez
tooies

that alphabet completionist blog has activated something in me so now i think i'm just gonna start making posts where it seems like a quirky little joke at first except underneath i subtly try to include all the letters. already made one but it didn't catch on so now i have to make more. i realize this might be a bit silly and pointless of me but i don't care. i wanna win the alphabet

alphabetcompletionist

you could at least tag me if you want to suck my dick

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

26/26

ariesbilly
fruitpilled-peachcel

image

gonna call in a shitter like it's a medevac helicopter and I'm a wounded GI in the jungles of Vietnam

powerburial

imagine getting in one of these and sitting down and a few seconds later you feel it lift off the ground

tsunderrated

too busy imagining one of these malfunctioning and raining shit from the sky onto the populace

yeah-yeah-beebiss-1

dave matthews band drone warfare

cryptotheism

This is how Elvis got to heaven